Private Sector Annual Survey

THIS IS OUR ANNUAL SURVEY IN ORDER FOR US TO BETTER REPORT ON THE ISSUES THAT AFFECT US ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS. PLEASE FILL IT OUT (IF YOU CAN READ) AND RETURN IT IMMEDIATELY. NEXT MONTH'S NEWSLETTER WILL POST THE RESULTS. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME OUT FROM ONE OF YOUR FOUR JOBS TO COMPLETE IT CORRECTLY. THANK YOU FELLOW PRIVATEERS.

1. What are your plans for the future?
a. Depression, addiction, poverty and back surgery
b. Taking civil service tests
c. Both a & b

2. What is your hourly wage?
a. $4.25/hr
b. $5.50/hr
c. Below a & b

3. What is your favorite type of call?
a. Renal Return
b. Grandma fell last week
c. G-tube re-insert

4. What is the worst expression that you hear when confronted with a city paramedic/fireman?
a. "Private's have to park in the back!"
b. "I thought I smelled something!"
c. "You are taking tests right?"

5. What is the most traumatic experience that happened to you this week?
a. Payday
b. Waking up to realize I still work for a private service
c. An extremely large patient in a high-rise

6. What would you say is the best part of working for a private service?
a. Nothing
b. Answer a
c. Both a & b

7. Pick the answer that would best describe your back:
a. Out of service
b. Tight as the owner's accountant
c. Stiff as the stiff I have to go pick up in fifteen minutes

8. When did you decide to work for a private ambulance service?
a. When I lost all sense of judgment and rational thought
b. After a sledding accident that left me brain dead
c. I didn't. The judge sent me in a plea bargain

9. What do you do on your off time?
a. Nothing. I can't afford it
b. Drink
c. Work four other jobs

10. Are you taking medications at this time?
a. Prozac
b. Prozac and Motrin
c. Prozac, Motrin, alcohol and illicit street drugs

11. What did your parents say when you told them you got a job with a private service?
a. "Honey, where did we go wrong?"
b. "Get out of my house!"
c. "That's great, but what are you going to do for a living?"

12. What is the biggest misconception you had about working with a private ambulance service? (Note: There may be more than one answer for this one)
a. I would go on emergency calls
b. I would get off welfare
c. I would be able to net a profit after paying the baby-sitter
d. I would be able to do this job for a long time
e. I could make a difference in someone's life (in a positive way)
f. I would be like the guys of Rescue 911
g. My job is way more important than a bus drivers job
h. I would be able to afford to eat more than once a day
i. I would get good benefits
j. I could retire from this job

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR FILLING OUT THIS SURVEY. WE WOULD PAY YOU FOR YOUR EFFORTS, BUT WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT (AMBULANCE) AS YOU ARE. E-MAIL ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS AND I WILL RESPOND AS LONG AS MY ELECTRICITY IS STILL TURNED ON.

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO WORK FOR A CITY!

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