::EMS One-Liners::

Airborne Ranger: Suicide by fall

BA Bingo: Play the lottery on blood alcohol results

Bluey on the Green: Full arrest on the golf course

Car vs. Pole: "But I only had two beers!"

Concrete Poisoning: What a jumper dies from

Cranial Rectal Inversion: Head up butt

Doing the "Elvis": Vagaling out on the toilet

Doing the Tuna: Seizures

Hamburger Helper: Pedestrian vs. AMTRAK

Hang A Texaco Drip: Haul Butt Fast

Instant Ambulance: Hip pack carried by an over-zealous medic

Insurance Pain: "Neck Pain" secondary to a minor MVA

Laser Trace: Asystole (dead as a hammer)

Mr. Sta-Puft: the DOA after 2 weeks without A.C.

"O" Sign: Someone lying unconscious with their mouth open

Pap Smear: Fatherhood test

Patient Vu: The strange feeling that you've transported a particular patient before

Person of Xenon: Guy who runs with every light known to man on the top

Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality: Cocaine O.D.

Pharmaceutically Gifted: A steroid user

Projectile Vomit: ALWAYS has the right of way!!

Randy Rescue: New guy with more crap on his belt than in his truck

Rectovisualitis: When your rectal nerves are crossed with your visual nerves, it affects your outlook on life

Road Pizza: Motorcycle crash victim

Stare of Life: The look on a Rookie's face during his first code

Urban Outdoorsman: Homeless person

V-Fib: A person full of contradictions

Vertically Challenged Person of Size: A 400lb guy on upper floors with no elevator

Vital Signs "WNL": We Never Looked

Walky Talky: Someone who can ambulate and converse

Windshield Taste Test: MVA victim who nails the windshield unrestrained

HUMOR