|
|
|
| APPENDICITIS |
|
Pain in
right lower abdomen. Nausea, possible vomiting and
fever. |
|
Who cares?
It's a vestigial organ anyway. Give him an
aspirin. |
| BURNS and
SCALDS |
|
Redness,
mild swelling, and pain. Blisters may develop. |
|
Peel away
dead skin. Rub vigorously to encourage good
circulation. |
| CONVULSION |
|
Strong,
jerking movements; stiff body. Difficulty
breathing. Bluish face. Eyes rolled back, gritting
of teeth, frothy mouth. |
|
Sit on
victim. Laugh at him until he gets embarrassed and
stops. |
| CROUP |
|
Noisy,
difficult breathing. Hoarse, barking cough. |
|
Stuff a
sock in victim's mouth. |
| CUTS and
BRUISES |
|
Cuts bleed
& hurt. Bruises get red, swollen, & hurt. |
|
Call
victim a sissy & send him back out to play. |
| DOG BITE |
|
Redness,
swelling & bleeding if skin is broken. Fear of
dog. |
|
Scold
victim. Shoot dog. |
| DROWNING |
|
Unconscious,
pale or blue skin. |
|
Talk about
what a great guy he was. |
| EARACHE |
|
Pain.
Possible dizziness or discharge from ear. Possible
fever. |
|
Listen to
one hour of Motley Crue. THEN you'll know what an
earache is. |
| FAINTING |
|
Pale,
clammy skin, dizziness, shallow breathing,
sweating & temporary unconsciousness. |
|
Before
victim revives, take his wallet & clothes
& put him on a bus to Toledo. |
| FEVER |
|
Body
temperature over 98.6 degrees F (37 C). Hot
forehead. |
|
Administer
4 oz. of 'Old Jayhawk' (cheap whiskey) every 2
hours. |
| FROSTBITE |
|
Skin
flushed, then changing to white or grayish-yellow.
Blister may appear. Cold & numb. Pain. |
|
Submerge
in boiling water. |
| HEAT
EXHAUSTION |
|
High
temperature. Pale & clammy skin, or hot &
flushed skin. Headache & weakness. Possible
nausea. |
|
Lock up
victim in walk-in freezer for 1-2 hours. |
| INSECT
BITES and STINGS |
|
Pain &
redness at the site of the sting or bite. Possible
allergic reactions such as shock or difficulty
breathing. |
|
Capture
insect & mash into paste. Dissolve in one cup
of milk & have victim drink. |
| NOSEBLEED |
|
Profuse
bleeding from the nose. |
|
Apply
tourniquet to victim's neck. |
| POISONING |
|
Symptoms
vary. Throat or stomach pains. Mouth burns.
Vomiting. Drowsiness. |
|
Give 1
tbsp lye in ammonia solution to flush system. |
| SHOCK |
|
Victim
pale & weak. Clammy skin, perspiration on
upper lip & forehead. |
|
Grasp
victim firmly by the shoulders & shake,
shouting, "Snap out of it!" |
| STROKE |
|
Unconscious.
Heavy breathing. Apparent weakness in face or
limbs on one side if body. Inability to speak. |
|
Kiss
patient good-bye. It's all over. |
| SUNBURN |
|
Redness,
mild swelling, & pain. Possible blisters. |
|
Remove
reddened skin with sandpaper. Soak affected area
in alcohol. |
| SWALLOWING
FOREIGN BODIES |
|
Dangerous
when in air passages. Violent coughing &
choking. Bluish facial discoloration. Breathing my
stop. |
|
Shout,
"Hey, dummy, spit that out! What'sa matter
with you!?!" |
| TOOTHACHE |
|
Pain.
Tooth is sensitive to hot & cold food &
fluids. |
|
Alternate
administration of hot coffee and ice cream. |
