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Things You Don't Want To hear During Surgery

"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

"Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

"Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

"Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?"

"Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

"Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."


"Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

"Damn, there go the lights again...."

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

"What do you mean you want a divorce?"

"Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!"

"Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off."

"What's this doing here?"

"I hate it when they're missing stuff in here."

"That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!"

"Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us."

"Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?"

"OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature!"

"Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?"

"Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough."

"FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!"

"Darn! Page 147 of the manual is missing!"


A Nurse's Wish

A Paramedic's Wish

The Rules Of EMS

You Might Be In EMS If...

The Difference Between God And A Paramedic

EMT Definitions of Firefighter Terms

New Mexico Law

Private Sector Annual Survey

EMS Medical Terminology

EMS One-Liners

Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

EMS Run Report Acronyms

Redneck Dictionary Of Medical Terms

Wanted: EMTs And Paramedics

Beast Medic From Hell