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EMS Medical Terminology

ART: Assuming Room Temperature

AST: Assuming Seasonal Temperature

Arrythmia: Living an alternative rhythm style

Blurrections: Unintelligible directions to a call (e.g. "hang a left where the old schoolhouse used to be")

Breathanol: A gaseous, still-potent form of alcohol found wafting from the mouths of certain EMS frequent flyers

Defibrochism: The need to test the defibrillator out on one's self

Docklings: A whole bunch of baby interns or residents following the attending physician through the hospital corridors

DRT: Dead Right There

EMD: Early Morning Discovery (Woke up dead)

FACBP: A Fellow of the American College of Bystander Physicians; can easily be identified at any emergency scene as he shouts orders (typically "Hurry up!") at EMS personnel

FTD: Fixin' To Die

Glovidue: Stubborn white powder marks left on dark uniform pants or the steering wheel after surgical gloves are removed

Gravitational Disassociation: What intoxicated people experience when they fall

Hypovolemic: Volumetrically challenged

MARPS: Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals

Medimutes: Patients whose relatives feel compelled to answer all questions for them

Opscultate: To visually measure a patient's vital signs without actually taking them

Optic Analitis: When your optic nerve is connected to your anus affecting your outlook on life

Positive Samsonite Sign: Victim request an emergency response. On arrival, victim is standing at the curb with his suitcase packed

Spazner: Any frantic relative at the scene of an emergency who gets in the way and generally makes things worse

Spooge: Sticky residue, usually of organic origin; may be found on poorly cleaned backboards, laryngoscopes, and other medical equipment, or on ambulance armrests

TTA: Temporary Transient Alzheimers (sometimes suffered by EMS personnel)

TBC: Total Bone Cruncher

Vein: Conceited

VDRT: Very Dead Right There

VIP: Very Intoxicated Person

HUMOR

A Nurse's Wish

A Paramedic's Wish

The Rules Of EMS

You Might Be In EMS If...

The Difference Between God And A Paramedic

EMT Definitions of Firefighter Terms

New Mexico Law

Private Sector Annual Survey

EMS Medical Terminology

EMS One-Liners

Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

EMS Run Report Acronyms

Redneck Dictionary Of Medical Terms

Wanted: EMTs And Paramedics

Beast Medic From Hell